Thursday, September 11, 2014

Exercise One, To live a dream by Caitlin Mashhadian

Caitlin Mashhadian
English 1103
9/11/2014


 So, as I was writing my poem about Philippe Petite I had an unusually easy time finding my voice to narrate this piece. I began to look over the poems that were handed out in class to gain an idea of what conventions I would use in my poem. Looking at Patricia Traxler’s poem “How Trust Works” I instantly had a connection to her technique of limited punctuation and using space to create a feeling. This is where my inspiration derived from. I took my own voice to narrate this poem and took the information from my notes to create a thoughtful piece about what Philippe Petite had accomplished and succeeded in, fulfilling his dream. The main focal point of my poem is Philippe starting off with a desire that became a dream and how he worked towards his dream and being patient throughout his journey. I revised my poem by adding some punctuation because I needed parts of the poem to come through with more clarity and to help the reader. I added a title to my poem as well, since I had forgotten in my draft.


To live a dream
You need dreams to be alive
Believed Philippe Petite      August first
Is when he felt the throbbing wire
Underneath his feet      Dancing on top
Of the world Philippe Petite seized an
Entire city
A one inch wire, one thousand three
Hundred and sixty feet into the air,
Philippe Petite began dancing
Into the birds territory

He was free

You need a will of work to make
Your dreams come to life,
Philippe Petite planted his
Seeds into the bitter winter
Ground and watched them
Bloom in August.

3 comments:

  1. Overall your poem was very good! I enjoyed reading your introductory paragraph and the revisions you made. The one line in the middle of the poem "he was free".. At that point I stopped and actually re-read the first part and it just all around flowed. Nice work!

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  2. Hey Caitlin! I really enjoyed how you described Philipe Petite as seizing the entire city of New York! Because he really did seize New York City on that August morning. Everyone was watching him, and everyone couldn't help but feel amazed. Your poem was splendid as well! Nice job!

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  3. Caitlin, just a good job with the poem. It seemed to capture my imagination of the work that Philippe started by taking the risk of being thrown into jail for his dream. and in the end ended up being something that the entire city of New York was caught up uniqueness of what he was doing. Despite the fact that he could have died, its the fact that he became this pillar of inspiration to everyone who had or was working toward a dream.

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