This poem is a tribute to Philipe Petite, and it acts as a testament to what Petite strived to do his entire life. By tight-roping between the Two Towers, he himself conquered a dream of his that was very prevalent in his life. That's what pushed me to write this poem as if I myself was Philipe Petite in the sky on August 7th, 1974. Instead of using plain diction to explain how Petite felt in this moment, I decided to use words that he would've used to explain the event. I tried to place myself in his shoes, and think like him (to the best of my ability). When I went to revise my poem, I decided to change the title of it from "True Love" to "True Love Between My Concrete Wives". I made this change because true love is too general, and in the clip that we saw, he talked about feeling wedded to the two building's. So I thought it was fitting to label the building's as his two concrete wives! Other than that, I played around with my enjammed lines and my end-stopped lines to give a greater affect to the words in my poem.
True
Love Between My Concrete Wives
As I scurry to the top of this monolith,
My mind runs rampant
With overwhelming thoughts
That cannot be tampered with
Stepping up the flights,
And swerving ‘round the bends,
My heart starts to pound,
As if to raise my inner suspense
Breathing furiously, and wobbling in my shoes,
I reach the very top, having nothing left to lose
And with my feet adjusted to this skinny wire,
I can’t help myself
But to reach and aspire
“Let’s dance on top of the world”,
I say
And without restraint,
I wiggle my feet as if to paint
A picture in the sky
Of what true love,
In my mind can be described
As I look steadily ahead
The color of my face begins to shift,
To a beautiful hue of red
And in that very moment,
I knew my fate was swayed
My love for this temple in the clouds,
Would never be whisked away
Hi Collin! I like that when you wrote your poem you tried to put yourself in his shoes. You didn't use common words but you used words that Philippe himself might have used. For example you used the word hue instead of color. I also enjoyed how you wrote it as if it was Philippe writing the poem. We almost get a better sense of how it must have felt to be achieving such a big dream.
ReplyDeleteI love the title and your poem has such good diction and word choice. The word choice really makes the poem. It seems like you really put a lot of thought into it. Your last stanza is perfect too. It keeps me thinking after reading it. Awesome!!
ReplyDeleteI think your title for this poem is amazing. It makes you interested in reading what its about. I love that you say "I cant help myself but to reach and aspire". I think in that one little sentence you capture all of Philippe's emotions.
ReplyDeletelove the way you worded everything in your poem, and I thought it was pretty amazing how you wrote it from that point of view!
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